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(pronounced Ko-Hane)
Dan is the Bram Stoker-nominated author of Plague of Darkness, Solomon’s Grave, and the critically-acclaimed Margaret's Ark. Writing as G. Daniel Gunn, he released Destroyer of Worlds and the novella (written with L.L.Soares) Nightmare in Greasepaint (Samhain Publishing),. His short stories have appeared in Cemetery Dance, Shroud Magazine, Apex Digest and many more. He and his family live in New England.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Home Stretch, and Scary People on the Highway

I was driving home on interstate 290 the other day, and saw an amazing sight. Mind you, this was 'amazing' in the What the F category, but still. 290 is a 3-lane highway, 65MPH limit, just to set the stage. I was coming up the fast lane, maybe going 70, not much more, and realized the car ahead of me wasn't going that fast. I cut to the middle lane, no problem, but the car in the left lane sped up - happens all the time, the driver gets dreamy, notices someone is passing them and realizes they were going too slow (as opposed to the other ^#% people who simply hate being passed, but that's another story).

As I passed alongside, keeping pace, I see this accountant-type with his flip phone open against the front of his steering wheel, thumbing the buttons madly. My first thought, ah, he's having trouble and is calling someone for help (trouble was, what kind of trouble? His steering wheel refuses to turn right? As it turns out... anyway...). But no. Unless he was dialing Uranus, there were way too many thumb-pressings on that phone. Not only that, he was staring fixedly at the phone - not sure how he stayed on the road, must have been using his peripheral vision for such a mundane task as driving. As he began to slow down again it hit me: he was playing a &#*#&# game on his cell phone, thumbing the arrow buttons as he tried to blow apart asteroids or something. Slower, his car dropped, and based on how quickly my car pulled away from him (I was still in the middle lane so I could watch, amazed, in my side mirror and effectively becoming as dangerous a driver as this guy, I suppose) I guessed his speed in the left lane leveled off at about 60 MPH, phone still propped up, and roughly about 6 cars behind him, sometimes flashing their lights, finally curling around him.

He's obviously a complete loon.

People like that who cause accidents that hurt people. Yes, there are other things that can do the same thing, like sex while driving, or trying to eat spaghetti and garlic bread while driving, but I've seen way too many lane-swerving, last-minute course changing, cutting-me-off drivers, only to realize there was a phone glued to their ear, not to get pissed sometimes. I finally have a cell phone myself, but still find a place to pull over to make a call (granted, on the rare occasions someone calls me on the thing I'll answer while I'm driving, so I'm no angel myself, but try to keep the conversations in these cases short and at least watch the road while I talk).

Still.... I hate thatman. And I don't even know his name.

On writing, well, had an intense lunch period editing the final chapters of Destroyer.... I think I break every grammar rule with my plethora of sentence fragments, but it seems to roll through the action pretty quickly. Almost done... almost done....

"Ray Gun" is coming soon to Apex Digest #11. Das grab Des Solomon end of next month, too. Still can't tell you the Plague of Darkness news, yet.....

That's it. Just wanted to check in....

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