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(pronounced Ko-Hane)
Dan is the Bram Stoker-nominated author of Plague of Darkness, Solomon’s Grave, and the critically-acclaimed Margaret's Ark. Writing as G. Daniel Gunn, he released Destroyer of Worlds and the novella (written with L.L.Soares) Nightmare in Greasepaint (Samhain Publishing),. His short stories have appeared in Cemetery Dance, Shroud Magazine, Apex Digest and many more. He and his family live in New England.

Friday, March 01, 2013

The Power of Parsley

OK, just came back from the store where I bought (among other things) an all-purpose cleaner called "Parsley Plus"... I kid you not, this thing apparently cleans with the "Power of Parsley."

Now, I suppose if you don't cook you can't appreciate how hard it is to clean up all the little pieces of the small-leafed plants like parsley or cilantro, when they get wet, and smear and stick to YOUR FINGERS AND DRIVE ME..... but, it's not happening now, is it? Still, one never would consider parsley to be a cleaning agent. I think The Company (the big conglomerate that actually owns all the products we buy... you know, because we're living in a bubble on the moon?..)... I think The Company must be running out of new marketing ideas. Lemons, then oranges. I can see the three chain-smoking ad agents in the conference room, holding up a label-less spray bottle as they try to come up with something new, something hip, something Mr and Ms USA will just grab up. One guy, after a long silence, says, "Parsley?"

The other two shrug and mutter, "Sure," and "Whatever" because it's Friday and they want to go home.

Lesser things than this were born this way, I suppose.

But I had to buy it. Seriously, Parsley Plus Cleaner. How could I not?

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